I hate them. I really, really, really do. I hate them with a passion. There, I said it. I even put it right there in the title. A lot of people at Phil Percs warned me -- some even threatened me. Too much controversy, they said. Is this something we want the whole blog to be associated with?, they worried. You got to present both sides, they demanded. We will get you for this -- like I said, they threatened.
But. I. Don't. Care.
I. Hate. Cliffhangers.
More. Than. Sentences. With. Periods. After. Every. Word.
That's how much I hate cliffhangers.
And I won't even apologize for it. Sorry, I just won't. So sorry about that.
No. No. No. No---err, maybe yes, but has nothing to do with this. No.
I think it is the best time to discuss this (especially given the huge amount of controversy I'm about to start up, timing is everything) because the new Fall season is about to start up. And you know what that means?
It means I can't remember a single damn cliffhanger from last season's finales, much less continue to care about one!
So, as I tune into this season's premieres, I'm about to step into the middle of intense, exciting, thought-provoking scenes and think to myself, "What the hell is going on? I can't remember."
But don't you understand that cliffhangers are key to TV shows' promotion of next season? How else are they going to get you to come back?
Damnit, it is set on our DVRs! Frankly, do a good season, and I'll come back because I'm too lazy to delete your show off my DVR unless you really piss me off (looking at you there, Scandal! That's right, you done pissed me off and I learned how to delete a show from my to do list, just for you!).
And you know what pisses me off?
That's right. I said it.
And I meant it, too.
And you know why?
Find out in a blog post 7 months from now!